I stepped onto the boat,
Looking back at the paradise island – the unexpected home and paradox where I finally learned to rest and leave behind who I no longer was.
As we left shore, the feeling of peace I’d only experienced this deeply once before, expanding through my entire body, from my very core.
The choice for a fresh start,
Completely brand new.
With shaky legs like a baby foal, not knowing which way I’d go.
Towards my heart and body’s knowing, allowing myself to follow.
And surrender as deeply as I’d ever had before.
Afraid. Raw. Vulnerable. Open. And true.
No looking back.
My heart and human wide open and my feet back on the ground.
How would I love again, how would I have the courage to take another chance?
To feel what it’s like to live again and be amongst the people of this world.
To count on others to be there for me, love me, open their arms to me.
To trust and love myself fully again.
To know that I’m worthy as I am. Stripped away. With no identity.
So this is how it feels, to take another step when I had no energy left.
And to move towards the greatest love I’ve ever experienced.
With another – and myself. Unconditionally.
And even though it didn’t last in this lifetime, the experience showed me who I truly am.
And that I would have the courage again.
And again.
And again.
Each time, a little easier, a little, bigger, a little bolder.
In honor of myself.
Knowing that no matter what happens, I will still be on the other side.
Alive.
Alive.
Again – so, fully, alive.
Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash
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