While not always easy and fluid throughout the course of a day or even from one moment to the next, I’ve found that staying open and willing to meet new people in all sorts of circumstances has allowed for amazing connections, relationships and opportunities. It leads to the possibility of enjoying life with other people in the present moment and also infinite possibility of where it may lead you someday – in the short or longer term.

I met a captivating woman around 6 years ago, while attending an intimate, stunning wedding in Northern Italy fairly last minute (I booked my flights about a week before the wedding date where my original destination was set to be Paris), and recall that connecting with her always stuck with me as we had so much fun together and really felt close after a short time. Our lives went in very different directions from there – at that time, I was heading on a 10 month around-the-world stint and wasn’t sure where I was going to be next (although it ended up being more of Italy, followed by Paris and then Southern France). On the other hand, she went to start a life in Luxembourg for a few years , followed by a couple of years in San Francisco.

We continued to follow along and reach out once in awhile on social media, but didn’t see each other in person again until circumstances led to us being in the same place at the same time again, just the other day. For whatever reason, something pushed me to reach out a little over a month ago to see where she was, and after a few messages back and forth, we realized we’d both be in Vancouver this summer! We set a time to meet, and I am so, so glad that we did.

It felt like coming home to a lifelong soul sister, with whom you could reveal anything to and understand without even speaking – all those things that you may not feel comfortable sharing with others came pouring out as if we’d known each other even beyond this lifetime.

What I’ve noticed over the last year and a half or so as I’ve become more comfortable with being myself and no one else, is that I’ve drawn more and more of these types of relationships into my life. And that has been truly special.

So my whole purpose of sharing this is that this openness and ability to be you, exactly as you are, will lead to many beautiful connections, people, and experiences that will be drawn into your life.

Challenges: An Introverted Extrovert

I know it can be a challenge at times to be social and open to meeting strangers, as I used to be super shy – the little girl who used to hide behind my mother’s legs, and quit preschool after only the first day, not going back to any group social situations until Kindergarten, where you have no other choice but attend. Don’t get me wrong, I can still be very outgoing nowadays, but definitely gain energy by being on my own, and am very content when the majority of my day is spent alone. 

What I found that I really love about travel is that it helps create an environment where it’s not as challenging to be yourself – however you want to be in any given moment. This feeling of freedom grew for me over time once I was single and on my own for awhile after a series of back-to-back monogamous relationships throughout my twenties, and realized that there was no one else I had to be, and no one I had to please or be any specific way for. When travelling, there is also the knowledge that you’ll leave at some point and won’t always be in whatever new place you’re exploring, so it leads to the tendency to take more risks in terms of social risks, talk to new people, and feel less likely or worried about being judged.  Who cares, if you can leave the next day and may never see these same people again?

It’s also comforting when many other travellers you come across are exploring the world for similar purposes, and wanting to learn and take in new experiences.

Here are a few stories from over the last 9 years where I was able to meet amazing people and enjoy incredible and unique experiences as a result, through both my frequent travels, but also when back in Vancouver.

Rewards:

ATM & Philippines Annual Fiesta

While traveling on Boracay 7 years ago, I was about to run out of pesos and needed to get more cash. So I went off to find some and in the process went to a total of 5 ATMs, all of which didn’t have any cash left. It’s phenomenal to think that a location that is so open to tourism and aching for the stimulation to the economy would have that happen (but this was my thought process coming from a developed first world country). Along the way, I’d run into the same people over and over, who were also trying to withdraw more money. So here we went, all on a mass migration path from ATM to ATM, until the money would run out there too, and someone towards the front of the line would throw up their arms in frustration and you’d see the group begin to part as everyone pondered where to head next (or who to fight to get there the fastest, before the cash ran out again).

At the second to last machine, there were a few familiar faces that I just couldn’t be bothered to ignore anymore. The group seemed friendly and approachable – 1 girl and 2 guys. It appeared to be a girl and her boyfriend, along with her brother or another family member. And I was right. I started chatting them up, seeing how they would receive me “picking them up” while trying to take out money. Luckily, as a female, this can be an advantage, with no looks of fear or territory shot back, which I’ve seen before with an approaching male to a group.

And from there, a friendship and travel experience was born.

We ended up going to the annual fiesta at Tibiao all together, and having one of the most memorable experiences of my life, still to this day: http://victoriastravelsecrets.com/post/26169393352/annual-fiesta-tuno-philippines.

And since, we’ve met up at a 30th birthday in Vegas for more travel fun, met other friends of friends of one another, and continue to keep in touch.

Tablas Island Birthday Party

Continuing on this theme and also during the same trip to the Philippines, I also ended up going to a private birthday party on another island: http://victoriastravelsecrets.com/post/26357995002/tablas-island-philippines

This was a crazy fun experience, where we got to explore a very cool untouched island, and even saw a group of dolphins playing out at sea on the boat ride home. I remember saying that there was no way life could get any better. It was literally the perfect day, and once back on Boracay, we ended up enjoying wine and cheese on the beach at sunset, and soaking in the events of the day so we could relive it again and again.

The place where the birthday party was held no longer seems to exist, and I’m not sure what happened to the people who lived there, but it was a snapshot in time that I’m so glad I got to experience. Take the chance to enjoy exciting opportunities where you can!

Laos Rainstorm

On another trip, when I spent about 2 weeks in Laos overall about 6 years ago, I ended up meeting a group of 20 locals under a makeshift hut beside the river in Luang Prabang while attempting to stay dry in a sudden storm. Following that, I met a few travelling Europeans from France and Spain under that same tent as the rain started to let up, and then spent more time with them – we went out that night for dinner and drinks  to Lao Lao Garden Bar, and then I randomly ran into them again in Phnom Penh, Cambodia a few weeks later at a temple frequented by tourists.

While on the road for long periods of time, it’s always lovely to run into familiar faces again, and it really makes the world seem like a smaller place. Also, other travellers will understand exactly what you’re going through, especially if they’re working while on the go. It’s easier to connect and share stories and learn from people in similar situations, who can help show you where they’ve been, where to go, provide advice and discuss other ways of doing things and seeing life from a difference perspective.

Business Opportunities

Over the years, I’ve found that every amazing opportunity, collaboration, or experience has been a result of relationships with other people. This started with getting to know others in the tech community in Vancouver, in my early days after initially moving to this city. This community is actually very small and most people have heard of each other in the tech pool that exists.  This has led to gaining referrals, which in turn, as things start to gain momentum, having more and more people get referred your way, as you tend to specialize and then also start handing off business around town to continue to spread the love and pay it forward. Being a connector helps, and as long as you give and share as much as possible and continue to be social and willing to meet people and collaborate, you never know who you will run into, help, and learn from along the way.

Another local community in Vancouver that has allowed me to feel a sense of belonging each time I come back to this city has been volleyball – indoor, grass, and beach leagues and drop-ins. I’ve gotten a great ongoing project through someone who I played with on a women’s 4s indoor volleyball team, just through casual conversation. From there, I ended up closing another large web project just weeks after the launch of the first one, and so many new opportunities have sprung out of both. Over time, there tends to be a snowball effect and growing momentum – you never know where it will lead you if you put in the time to do things well and truly care about what you do.

What This Has Meant For Me

Over the years, especially throughout my thirties when I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time on my own, I’ve learned more about who I truly am and have stayed open to what life has to offer, and increasingly felt how this has had a positive impact on everything that’s followed. It’s incredible now to think back on the last decade and understand how everything was so interconnected, with one event or relationship leading to the next, all part of where the path has taken me to today.

Photo credit: Cynthia Magana on Unsplash